12  Special Needs Parenting

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12.1 Sensory processing disorders

📖 Difficulties processing sensory information, which can lead to problems with attention, behavior, and social interaction.

12.1.1 Sensory processing disorders (SPDs) are real and can have a significant impact on a child’s development.

• Belief:
  • SPDs are not simply a matter of a child being ‘oversensitive’ or ‘under-sensitive’ to sensory stimuli, but rather a neurological condition that affects how the brain processes sensory information.
• Rationale:
  • Children with SPDs may have difficulty processing sensory information from one or more of their senses, such as touch, sound, smell, taste, or sight. This can lead to a variety of problems, including difficulty paying attention, difficulty regulating emotions, and difficulty interacting with others.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) both recognize SPDs as a real condition.
• Counterpoint:
  • Some people believe that SPDs are not a real condition, but rather a fad diagnosis. However, there is a growing body of research that supports the existence of SPDs.

12.1.2 Early intervention is key for children with SPDs.

• Belief:
  • The earlier a child with SPDs receives intervention, the better their chances of success.
• Rationale:
  • Early intervention can help children with SPDs learn how to manage their sensory sensitivities and develop coping mechanisms. This can help them to improve their attention, behavior, and social skills.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • The AAP and the NIMH both recommend early intervention for children with SPDs.
• Counterpoint:
  • Some people believe that early intervention is not necessary for children with SPDs. However, there is a growing body of research that supports the benefits of early intervention.

12.1.3 There is no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting a child with SPDs.

• Belief:
  • Every child with SPDs is different, and what works for one child may not work for another.
• Rationale:
  • It is important to work with your child’s therapist to develop an individualized treatment plan that meets your child’s specific needs.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • The AAP and the NIMH both emphasize the importance of individualized treatment for children with SPDs.
• Counterpoint:
  • Some people believe that there is a one-size-fits-all approach to parenting a child with SPDs. However, there is no scientific evidence to support this claim.

12.2 Autism spectrum disorder

📖 A developmental disorder characterized by difficulties with social interaction and communication, as well as repetitive patterns of behavior.

12.2.1 Embrace the Differences

• Belief:
  • Children with autism are unique and should be treated as such. Celebrate their strengths and provide support for their challenges.
• Rationale:
  • Every child is different, and those with autism have unique needs and abilities. Focusing on their differences can lead to frustration and resentment. Instead, it’s important to embrace their individuality and provide them with the support they need to reach their full potential.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Autism Speaks, National Autistic Society
• Counterpoint:
  • Some argue that focusing on differences can lead to segregation and a lack of understanding of the broader autistic experience.

12.2.2 Early Intervention is Crucial

• Belief:
  • Early intervention services, such as speech therapy and occupational therapy, can significantly improve outcomes for children with autism.
• Rationale:
  • The brain is most malleable in the early years of life, making it an ideal time for intervention. Early intervention can help children with autism develop essential skills and reduce the severity of their symptoms.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, American Academy of Pediatrics
• Counterpoint:
  • Some argue that early intervention can be too intensive and stressful for young children.

12.2.3 Collaboration is Key

• Belief:
  • Parents, educators, and therapists should work together to create a supportive and nurturing environment for children with autism.
• Rationale:
  • No one person can provide all the support that a child with autism needs. Collaboration is essential to ensure that the child’s needs are met and that they are making progress.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • National Dissemination Center for Children with Disabilities
• Counterpoint:
  • Collaboration can be challenging, especially when there are disagreements among team members.

12.3 Down syndrome

📖 A genetic disorder that causes intellectual and developmental disabilities, as well as physical characteristics such as short stature and a distinctive facial appearance.

12.3.1 Disability is not a tragedy.

• Belief:
  • Children with Down syndrome have unique strengths and abilities that should be celebrated and nurtured.
• Rationale:
  • Individuals with Down syndrome often possess remarkable qualities such as empathy, resilience, and determination.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • None
• Counterpoint:
  • Some people may hold the misconception that Down syndrome is a severe disability that limits an individual’s potential.

12.3.2 Early intervention is crucial.

• Belief:
  • Providing support and therapy to children with Down syndrome from an early age can significantly improve their development and quality of life.
• Rationale:
  • Early intervention can enhance cognitive, motor, and social skills, leading to better outcomes in the long run.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • N/A
• Counterpoint:
  • Some may argue that children with Down syndrome will develop naturally without the need for early intervention.

12.3.3 Inclusive education is vital.

• Belief:
  • Children with Down syndrome should have the opportunity to learn and grow alongside their typical peers in mainstream classrooms.
• Rationale:
  • Inclusive education promotes social development, reduces stigma, and fosters a sense of belonging for all students.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • International organizations such as UNESCO and UNICEF
• Counterpoint:
  • Some may advocate for separate education systems for children with Down syndrome, arguing that they have different learning needs.

12.3.4 Parental support is essential.

• Belief:
  • Parents of children with Down syndrome play a vital role in their child’s development and well-being by providing love, encouragement, and advocacy.
• Rationale:
  • Strong parental support can empower children with Down syndrome to reach their full potential and live fulfilling lives.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • National Down Syndrome Society
• Counterpoint:
  • Some may underestimate the importance of parental involvement in the lives of children with Down syndrome.

12.3.5 Respect and dignity are paramount.

• Belief:
  • Individuals with Down syndrome deserve to be treated with the same respect and dignity as everyone else.
• Rationale:
  • They are valuable members of society who contribute in unique ways and should be accorded the same rights and opportunities as others.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Self-Advocacy Groups for Down Syndrome
• Counterpoint:
  • Unfortunately, discrimination and prejudice towards individuals with Down syndrome still exist.

12.4 Cerebral palsy

📖 A group of disorders that affect movement and coordination, caused by damage to the brain before or during birth.

12.4.1 Early intervention is crucial for children with cerebral palsy.

• Belief:
  • Early intervention, such as physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy, can significantly improve the development and function of children with cerebral palsy.
• Rationale:
  • Early intervention can help to improve motor skills, cognitive abilities, and communication skills. It can also help to prevent or reduce the severity of secondary complications, such as contractures and scoliosis.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • American Academy of Pediatrics, American Physical Therapy Association, American Occupational Therapy Association
• Counterpoint:
  • Some parents may be reluctant to start early intervention because they are concerned about the costs or the commitment involved. However, the benefits of early intervention far outweigh the costs.

12.4.2 Parents should be involved in their child’s therapy.

• Belief:
  • Parents are an essential part of their child’s therapy team. They can provide support and encouragement, and they can help to carry out the therapy exercises at home.
• Rationale:
  • Parents who are involved in their child’s therapy are more likely to see positive results. They can also help to ensure that their child is getting the most out of therapy.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • American Academy of Pediatrics, American Physical Therapy Association, American Occupational Therapy Association
• Counterpoint:
  • Some parents may feel overwhelmed by the thought of being involved in their child’s therapy. However, even small amounts of involvement can make a big difference.

12.4.3 Children with cerebral palsy can live full and productive lives.

• Belief:
  • With proper care and support, children with cerebral palsy can live full and productive lives. They can go to school, participate in extracurricular activities, and have relationships.
• Rationale:
  • There are many examples of people with cerebral palsy who have achieved great things. They have become doctors, lawyers, teachers, and artists. They have started families and raised children. They have made a difference in the world.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Christopher Reeves Foundation, United Cerebral Palsy
• Counterpoint:
  • Some people may believe that children with cerebral palsy will not be able to live full and productive lives. However, this is simply not true.

12.5 Spina bifida

📖 A birth defect that occurs when the spinal cord does not close all the way during pregnancy, causing a variety of physical and developmental problems.

12.5.1 Early intervention is key for children with spina bifida.

• Belief:
  • The earlier children with spina bifida receive intervention, the better their outcomes will be.
• Rationale:
  • Early intervention can help children with spina bifida develop the skills they need to live full and independent lives.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • American Academy of Pediatrics, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
• Counterpoint:
  • Some parents may believe that their child is too young for intervention, or that they can wait until they are older to see if they need it.

12.5.2 Parents of children with spina bifida should be involved in their child’s care.

• Belief:
  • Parents are the experts on their child, and they should be involved in every aspect of their care.
• Rationale:
  • Parents can provide valuable insights into their child’s needs, and they can help to ensure that their child receives the best possible care.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • National Spina Bifida Association, Spina Bifida Association of America
• Counterpoint:
  • Some parents may feel overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for a child with spina bifida, and they may not feel confident in their ability to make decisions about their child’s care.

12.5.3 Children with spina bifida can live full and independent lives.

• Belief:
  • With the right support, children with spina bifida can achieve anything they set their minds to.
• Rationale:
  • Children with spina bifida have the same potential as other children, and they can live happy and fulfilling lives.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Christopher Reeve, Joni Eareckson Tada
• Counterpoint:
  • Some people may believe that children with spina bifida will never be able to live independently, or that they will always be a burden to their families.

12.6 Premature birth

📖 A baby born before 37 weeks of gestation, which can lead to a variety of health problems, including respiratory problems, feeding difficulties, and developmental delays.

12.6.1 Acknowledge the Challenges

• Belief:
  • Recognize that premature birth can bring unique challenges and that every baby’s journey is different.
• Rationale:
  • Understanding the potential difficulties can help parents navigate their child’s development and provide appropriate support.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • American Academy of Pediatrics
• Counterpoint:
  • None

12.6.2 Embrace Early Intervention

• Belief:
  • Seek professional support and therapies as early as possible to address developmental delays and promote optimal growth.
• Rationale:
  • Early intervention can significantly improve outcomes for premature babies by addressing specific needs and maximizing their potential.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • National Institutes of Health
• Counterpoint:
  • None

12.6.3 Foster a Nurturing Environment

• Belief:
  • Provide a stable and loving home environment that promotes attachment, security, and emotional well-being.
• Rationale:
  • Premature babies often require extra care and sensitivity, and a nurturing environment can foster their growth and development.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • March of Dimes
• Counterpoint:
  • None

12.6.4 Educate and Advocate

• Belief:
  • Stay informed about premature birth and its potential effects, and advocate for your child’s needs with healthcare providers and educators.
• Rationale:
  • Knowledge empowers parents to make informed decisions and ensure their child receives the best possible care and support.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Advocacy organizations for premature babies
• Counterpoint:
  • None

12.6.5 Celebrate Milestones

• Belief:
  • Recognize and celebrate your child’s progress, no matter how small.
• Rationale:
  • Celebrating milestones helps parents appreciate their child’s journey and encourages continued development.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Parents of premature babies
• Counterpoint:
  • None

12.7 Multiple births

📖 The birth of two or more babies at the same time, which can lead to a variety of challenges, including premature birth, low birth weight, and developmental delays.

12.7.1 Embrace the Chaos

• Belief:
  • Multiple births often mean more chaos and unpredictability, but it’s important to embrace the chaos and find joy in the unique challenges and rewards it brings.
• Rationale:
  • Resisting the chaos only leads to stress and frustration. Instead, focus on creating a supportive and loving environment where the children feel secure and loved.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Dr. Harvey Karp, author of “The Happiest Baby on the Block”
• Counterpoint:
  • Some parents may find it difficult to cope with the demands of multiple babies and may need to seek support from family, friends, or professionals.

12.7.2 Prioritize Care

• Belief:
  • With multiple births, it’s crucial to prioritize the care of each child and ensure they receive the individual attention and support they need.
• Rationale:
  • Each child has unique needs and may require different levels of care and attention. Neglecting any child can lead to developmental and emotional problems.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • American Academy of Pediatrics
• Counterpoint:
  • Parents may struggle to find the time and resources to provide adequate care for each child, especially in the early years.

12.7.3 Foster Independence

• Belief:
  • Encourage independence in multiple births as early as possible to help them develop their own identities and abilities.
• Rationale:
  • Children in multiple births may become overly dependent on each other or on their parents, which can hinder their social and emotional growth.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Dr. T. Berry Brazelton, renowned pediatrician
• Counterpoint:
  • Some children in multiple births may need more support and assistance than others, and parents should not force independence prematurely.

12.7.4 Celebrate Individuality

• Belief:
  • Recognize and celebrate the individuality of each child in a multiple birth, valuing their unique strengths and differences.
• Rationale:
  • Treating multiple births as a single entity can stifle their individual development and lead to feelings of inadequacy or resentment.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Dr. Susan Newman, psychologist and author of “Parenting an Only Child”
• Counterpoint:
  • Parents may struggle to differentiate between their children’s needs and preferences, especially in the early years.

12.7.5 Seek Support

• Belief:
  • Don’t hesitate to seek support from family, friends, or professionals when parenting multiple births, as it can be an overwhelming experience.
• Rationale:
  • Asking for help is a sign of strength and resilience, and it can make a significant difference in the well-being of the parents and children.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • National Multiple Birth Society
• Counterpoint:
  • Some parents may feel reluctant to ask for help or may not have access to adequate support systems.

12.8 Adoption

📖 The process of becoming a parent to a child who is not biologically related, which can lead to a variety of challenges, including attachment issues, identity issues, and special needs.

12.8.1 Adoption is a rewarding experience that can provide a loving home to a child in need.

• Belief:
  • Adoption is a positive and fulfilling way to create a family, and it can provide a stable and loving environment for a child who needs one.
• Rationale:
  • Adoption can provide a child with a sense of belonging and security, and it can help them to develop their full potential.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Charles Dickens, Dave Thomas, Jamie Foxx
• Counterpoint:
  • Adoption can be a challenging experience, and it is important to be prepared for the challenges that may arise.

12.8.2 Adoption is a complex and challenging process that should not be entered into lightly.

• Belief:
  • Adoption is a serious commitment, and it is important to be aware of the challenges that may arise before making a decision.
• Rationale:
  • Adoption can be an emotionally and financially draining process, and it is important to have a strong support system in place before adopting a child.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • N/A
• Counterpoint:
  • Adoption can be a rewarding experience, and it can provide a loving home to a child in need.

12.8.3 Adoption is a beautiful way to create a family, but it is important to remember that adopted children may have special needs.

• Belief:
  • Adopted children may have experienced trauma or neglect in their early lives, and they may require additional support and care.
• Rationale:
  • It is important to be aware of the potential challenges that adopted children may face, and to be prepared to provide them with the support they need.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • N/A
• Counterpoint:
  • Adoption can be a rewarding experience, and it can provide a loving home to a child in need.

12.9 Fostering

📖 The temporary care of a child who is not biologically related, which can lead to a variety of challenges, including attachment issues, behavioral problems, and special needs.

12.9.1 Fostering can be a challenging but rewarding experience.

• Belief:
  • Fostering a child can be a great way to provide a loving home for a child in need and can also be a great way to grow your family.
• Rationale:
  • Fostering a child can provide a stable and loving environment for a child who may have experienced trauma or neglect. It can also be a great way to learn about different cultures and perspectives.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • The National Foster Care and Adoption Association
• Counterpoint:
  • Fostering can be a challenging experience, and it is important to be prepared for the challenges that may arise.

12.9.2 Fostering a child with special needs can be even more challenging, but it can also be even more rewarding.

• Belief:
  • Fostering a child with special needs can be a great way to make a difference in the life of a child who may not have the same opportunities as other children.
• Rationale:
  • Fostering a child with special needs can provide a child with the opportunity to grow and learn in a loving and supportive environment. It can also be a great way to learn about different disabilities and how to best support children with special needs.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • The National Foster Care and Adoption Association
• Counterpoint:
  • Fostering a child with special needs can be a challenging experience, and it is important to be prepared for the challenges that may arise.

12.10 Grandparenting

📖 The role of a grandparent, which can be both rewarding and challenging, especially when caring for a child with special needs.

12.10.1 Grandparents of children with special needs play a vital role in providing support and care.

• Belief:
  • Grandparents can offer a unique perspective and understanding of the child’s needs, and can provide respite care for parents.
• Rationale:
  • Grandparents have often raised their own children and may have experience with special needs.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • American Academy of Pediatrics
• Counterpoint:
  • Grandparents may not always be able to provide the same level of care as parents, and may need to set boundaries.

12.10.2 Grandparents need to be prepared for the challenges of caring for a child with special needs.

• Belief:
  • Grandparents should be aware of the child’s specific needs and how to meet them.
• Rationale:
  • Caring for a child with special needs can be physically and emotionally demanding.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • National Institute of Child Health and Human Development
• Counterpoint:
  • Grandparents should not be expected to do everything for the child, and should seek help from other family members or professionals when needed.

12.10.3 Grandparents can be a source of strength and support for parents of children with special needs.

• Belief:
  • Grandparents can provide emotional support and practical help to parents.
• Rationale:
  • Parents of children with special needs often feel isolated and overwhelmed.
• Prominent Proponents:
  • Family Voices
• Counterpoint:
  • Grandparents may not always be able to provide the type of support that parents need.